Anime Review: Charlotte

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Did you like X-Men but cannot entertain anyone over the age of 18?

Do you like pointless J-Pop sequences interspersed with Engrish?

Does time travel for the sake of time travel appeal to you?

Are plot holes inconsequential?

Do you like ongoing jokes about omelettes smothered in a gross pizza sauce?

If you answered yes to all of the above, watch Charlotte!

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Anime Review: Bokurano

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When I look back at some of my favourite anime series, I am met with the worrisome notion that I am perhaps the devil incarnate. I adore Neon Genesis Evangelion and Mahou Shoujo Madoka★Magica, they are two franchises I have, and will continue to throw money at, a la the Philip J Fry meme. But what do these two series have in common? They feature children undergoing mental breakdowns. Children having existential crises. Children being turned into flesh confetti…

Now, there isn’t a particular feature on AnimePlanet or MyAnimeList for ‘recommendations on child suffering anime’ (perhaps it’s a list I need to draft), but I was recommended an anime that I believe to be the third piece of the misopedia triforce: Bokurano.

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Fullmetal Alchemist, trifle, Kabbalah and Pretention

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On the surface, Fullmetal Alchemist could easily be a fun ‘little’ Shonen romp about the adventures of two brothers trying to regain an arm, a leg and their entire corporeal being through magic and fisticuffs. But there’s more to it. FMA is a multi-layered trifle of deliciousness. Once you’ve penetrated the whipped cream of frivolity, you’re met with the custard of war, the jelly of political corruption and the sponge of genocide. Mmmmm, mass death….

If this was one of those hipster trifles, I’d say FMA’s salted caramel/lavendar petals/beard shavings was Kabbalah and esotericism.

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The Gary Stu of Anime, Part 2

Kirigaya ‘Kirito’ Kazuto Aka The Black Swordsman, Aka the Twin Blade Swordsman, Aka Pussy-Magnet General

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Disclaimer: most of the verbal diarrhea below is entirely based on watching the first Sword Art Online anime, I couldn’t bring myself to watch Sword Art Online II. I could use this as a space to ramble on about how the pacing of SAO was god awful and its depiction of female characters infuriating… Regrettably, I shall try to keep my vitriol to a minimum.

It’s the year 2022 and virtual reality is no longer shit. A 14 year old school boy named Kirito spends copious amounts of time playing MMO games using a VR system called the ‘Nerve Gear.’ This becomes more than just a ‘pastime’ however, when Kirito and 10,000 other players are trapped inside the game Sword Art Online by evil game designer Peter Moly… Kayaba Akihiko. It’s a death game (definitely not overdone in Japan). Players cannot log out, and If you die in the game, your brain in reduced to mushy peas in real life. To escape, players must defeat the bosses on each floor of the floating castle Aincrad. I bet you can’t guess who become video game Moses!?

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The Gary Stu of Anime, Part 1

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The Origin Story

Also known as the ‘Marty Stu,’ is often considered the male equivalent of the ‘Mary Sue’ trope, conceived via the world of Star Trek fanfiction.

Mary Sue was a character devised by Paula Smith in her Magnum Opus “A Trekkie’s Tale,” published in December 1974. Unlike many anime-related examples, however, this was intended to be satirical; almost a critique of the unrealistic female protagonists depicted in other works of Trek fanfiction. Mary, a 15 and a half year old Lieutenant had tits, brains and swagger. Every canon character of Trekverse became smitten with her bountiful charm, but whilst her every being excreted pheromones more potent than Axe body spray, she would often turn down the sexual advances of the ship’s male-kind, including its chief ‘ Hunk of Spunk.’

Gee, golly, gosh, gloriosky,” thought Mary Sue  as she stepped on the bridge of the Enterprise. 
“Here I am, the youngest lieutenant in the fleet  – only fifteen and a half years old.” 
Captain Kirk came up to her.
Oh, Lieutenant, I love you madly.  Will you come to bed with me?”
Captain! I am not that kind of girl!”
You’re right, and I respect you for it.  Here, take over the ship for a minute 
while I go get some coffee for us.” 

(To be honest, I’d take a 100% Arabica brew any day).

Creating a single, clear-cut definition for the Mary Sue trope however has raised differing opinions, but to put it simply, she is an idealised projection of her author.

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